Phone conversations last 30 seconds

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase

Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

You can open all your own jars

Your last name stays put

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

Wedding plans take care of themselves

If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

Flowers fix everything (or duct tape)

Car mechanics tell you the truth

You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me"

Same work........more pay

Gray hair and wrinkles add character

Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks

You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

The remote is yours and yours alone

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet